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  Ben grimaced. “We’ll just have to hope for the best.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jade

  Jade smoothed her palms against the somber black dress she wore, trying to ease the tension steadily raising her blood pressure as she followed Zak through the palace. It felt like her emotions were riding just below her skin, waiting for the slightest provocation to burst out of her and rant against the injustices of the world right now.

  No one should have to bury their child. Ever.

  Siblings shouldn’t have to feel that loss at so young an age. Zinnia’s expression when she was handed her brother Zander’s emerald Monomi necklace—her right as the eldest of the children—nearly broke Jade’s heart. It was too much.

  Jade bit her lip as she looked at the back of Zak’s head. He had been just a kid when he’d lost his brother, Zane, in the slaughter that had wiped out most the Doldras royalty. How was he handling everything? The memories, along with the fresh grief?

  She knuckled at her eyes. Losing Zander, on top of the grief of losing her father. How much could a soul be asked to carry until it shattered under the weight? It didn’t help that Advisor Samuel Thistle had arrived late last night, after she’d already cried herself to sleep. She’d woken to a note asking her to meet him after Zander’s funeral, and thus her morning started with tension on top of depression.

  And through it all, when the funeral was over, and it was time to meet Samuel, Zak didn’t leave her side. Guilt sucked the oxygen out of her lungs, leaving her aching for air. He should have found someone else to go with her today. He should be with his family right now. Not by her side. Not when his nephew was dead because of her.

  If only she’d agreed to go to Aerugo with Bentley. Going to Aerugo wasn’t the same as accepting the crown. She could’ve gone, and Zander would still be alive. Maybe she could have even negotiated for the freedom of the Monomi. Her own freedom. Persuaded Everett that she wasn’t going to be a threat to his power. But no, and now it was all too late. She blinked as the carpet underfoot blurred, and she swiped a hand at her eyes.

  Zak glanced back at her and slowed before they rounded the corner that would lead to where Samuel said to meet. Zak’s fingers barely skimmed her arm. “Are you ready?”

  Jade flopped her arms against her hips in a jerky shrug. “Have I been ready for any of this? No.” She knit her fingers behind her neck and shook her head, trying to push down the tears that threatened to rise up and spill over again. “I can’t do what everyone expects of me.”

  “Then don’t.” Zak stepped forward, close enough that she could feel the searing heat of his body as he leaned in, deliberately not touching her. He dipped his head to catch her gaze and a strand of hair slid across his forehead, half covering his eyes. “Seriously. If you were to try to meet everyone’s expectations, you would be run ragged within a week, and no one would be happy, because there’s nothing you can do that will please everyone.”

  A tear rolled down her cheek, and he lifted his hand as if he was going to brush it away, but he froze, his hand hovering over her face. His eyes flicked down to her lips, then back up. “Jade, I—”

  She let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes against Zak’s soul-felt gaze. Too much. It was all too much. “Zak—”

  A door banged around the corner, and Jade jumped, her hands flying from her neck to a defensive position. Zak’s hand swept back, bracing across her chest as he stepped in front of her in the empty hall. A woman’s voice—that she recognized as Advisor Catherine’s—rose.

  “Then you need to make her!”

  “No.” Zebediah’s inflection of the word made Jade suck in her breath. She clutched at Zak’s white shirt to keep her balance. It was rare that she heard the elder Monomi use such a stern, borderline angry tone. “She’s not ready to make that choice, and I’m not going to force her.”

  Jade pressed against Zak’s hand and he dropped it, shooting her a warning glance as she tiptoed to the corner, daring to peek around it. Zebediah stood with his back to her, still in his mourning whites as he stared down the diminutive noblewoman. Streaks of gray lightened the brown hair that was piled high on her head, an overly gaudy fascinator hat perched amongst her curls. She shook a gloved finger in Zebediah’s face, and Jade ducked back before she could be spotted.

  “Blood is on her hands! Your grandson’s blood!” Catherine exclaimed. “Are you going to just sit by and do nothing? She needs to either step up or be taken out of the portrait!”

  Air whooshed out of Jade’s lungs and she leaned against the wall, pressing her hand to her heart. So that’s how this was going to happen. The nobles would force her to rule or force her to leave, forever. Would they kill her to make sure she wouldn’t be a problem again?

  Zebediah’s growl sent a shiver through Jade’s spine. “Sounds like you’re suggesting treason. I’d caution you to reconsider how you want to say things to me in the future. Good day, Duchess.”

  Alarm shot through Jade as the clack of heeled shoes marched their way. She tore herself away from the wall and hoped desperately that it would look like they’d just arrived there and had missed the entire conversation.

  Catherine stomped around the corner, and she took a step back in surprise. Her eyes narrowed as they swept over Jade, who stood behind Zak. “Your Highness.” Catherine’s tone cooled and she brushed closer, ignoring Zak completely. “You can’t hide behind the Monomi forever, Adeline. Your people are ready for you to take up leadership. It’s time for you to do your part.” Jade could hear the unspoken words all too easily: take up leadership or be taken out.

  Catherine swept by Jade, the click of her heels driving her words deeper into Jade’s heart. Jade trembled. Is that what the people thought? That she was hiding behind the Monomi? They were the only noble family that she knew! She’d participated in a few noble events in Doldra as a child, but those weren’t enough for her to make friendships with the other families.

  Zak placed a hand on the small of her back, escorting her without a word. Her heart sank at his continued silence. Why didn’t he say anything? Because he knew that her head was spinning like the turbine gears on a windy day? Or because he agreed with Catherine? Or was he preoccupied with whatever the moment was before Catherine interrupted them?

  Her heart twisted in her chest as she let him steer her into the room, and she sank onto the cushion of a burgundy chair that he pulled out for her. Zebediah sat several chairs down, his face pensive as he stroked his beard, his eyes distant. She stared at the unnecessarily ornate sculpture in the center of the table. Was she going to lose Zak and her friends in the Monomi clan because of this?

  No. She glanced at Zak and he noticed her, twitching his lips in the semblance of a tiny smile. No, she wouldn’t lose Zak. And probably not the support of the Monomi. She needed to stop worrying about everything as it came up. Trust in her friends. They’d proven themselves faithful thus far. There was no reason to doubt them now.

  Motion from the doorway caught her eye as Advisor Thistle strode in. He took off his black top hat and set it on the hat rack by the doorway of the council room, then he slid his formal outer jacket off and hung that, too. He walked around the table so he’d be across from Jade and bowed before sitting, his smile gentle and friendly. He kept eye contact with her as he lifted his fingertips to his head, palm out, then flicked his wrist. “Hello, Jade.”

  Samuel’s words floated into Jade’s mind as he signed, and she relaxed ever so slightly. It had been many years since she’d last practiced sign language, and she hadn’t been sure if he’d have his ring of interpretation with him. The fact he wore one would simplify matters greatly, but it was past time for her to truly learn the language. She dipped her head, hurting too much to fake a smile. “Good morning, sir.”

  Samuel lifted a fist to his heart and rubbed his fist in a tight circle, “I am sorry for your recent losses.”

  “Thank you.” Her voice came out as barely a whisper, but she didn’t bother
trying to speak up. The ring would interpret for her, when she had no heart to lift her own hands in attempt to communicate. It would be better this way, without any mistakes on her behalf while they talked.

  Zebediah stirred from his thoughts. “What do you recommend we do now?”

  Samuel rubbed at his eye with a finger, taking his time to respond. He looked at Jade. “Go to Aerugo with His Highness, Weston. I agree with his plan, and you need to talk to Queen Violet and straighten out this mess.” His gaze didn’t leave her, even as she shrank back into the seat. He lifted his palms to the south—the direction of the city. “There are citizens here who desperately want you, a Doldras, on the throne. And there are others who want Violet, the queen they’ve known for the last twenty years.” He shook his head, his dark eyes tight. “This is what civil wars are made from. We cannot risk that.”

  Jade’s heart sank to the toes of her pointed boots. No, they couldn’t risk civil war. Especially with the threat of Victor and Lucio out there. She nodded slowly.

  “Everett will not want to give up Doldra,” Samuel warned. He pointed at Zak and Zebediah. “You will need to find a way to be safe, as well as get on Everett’s good side.”

  “Good side?” Jade echoed. “Does Everett even have a good side?”

  Humor flashed through Samuel’s eyes. “Yes, he has enough of a good side that you want to find it.”

  “Andre is in prison,” Jade said, the words nearly sticking in her throat. “Weston told me. I need to do something.”

  “Indeed.” Samuel waggled a finger at Jade’s surprise. “And to succeed, you will need Everett to be, at the very least, neutral to your existence.”

  Jade spread her hands on the surface of the table, frustration rising. “How? There’s not much love between our families, if you know what I mean.”

  Samuel spread his hands. “I don’t know. That’s up to you. Without you playing your role here, we have the distinct possibility of both losing Andre forever and having a civil war in the kingdom of Doldra. Do you want that to happen?”

  “No.” Jade averted her eyes, effectively cutting off the conversation for the moment. She dropped her chin to her chest as she gripped the seat of her chair. It wasn’t as easy as Samuel made it sound. How would she convince Everett that she wasn’t a threat to him, let alone get him to like her enough that he’d be willing to take back whatever he’d done to Andre?

  “Is it safe for her to go?” Zak asked, his voice hard. Jade looked up again, not wanting to miss Samuel’s answer.

  Samuel leaned forward in his chair as he nodded. “Safer than it is here.” He pointed out the door. “Here you have nobility that scent weakness. They act as your friends, though they be untrustworthy. In Aerugo, you will have a known ally, and you will know your enemy.”

  Zak made a sound in the back of his throat, and he shifted in the chair beside her. “Can we trust Weston’s ally?”

  “Francene? Yes.” A reassuring smile spread across Samuel’s broad lips. “She has been a friend and ally of Violet’s for many years. But,” Samuel’s brows lifted, “she will do what she deems best for her country. She wants a strong Aerugo. Jade has become a distraction—almost a fixation—for Everett, and I suspect Francene may use that preoccupation to try to overthrow Everett.”

  “So the enemy of my enemy is my friend,” Zebediah simplified.

  “Essentially. Francene has many skills, and she can put them to use in training Jade for the throne.”

  “What about the count that they want Jade to stay with? Is he trustworthy?”

  Genuine respect lit Samuel’s face. “Count Mendez is honorable and charitable, and if Aerugo were to have a new leader, I could only hope it would be him.”

  The thought of a new leader of Aerugo resonated in Jade’s mind even as her emotions churned. To go to Aerugo now would essentially render Zander’s death as meaningless. If only she’d gone when Bentley first demanded it ...Bitterness filled her mouth. “If someone were to replace Lord Everett, what would happen to Queen Violet?”

  “Speaking as her uncle, I doubt Violet would need to mourn long.” Samuel’s eyebrow twitched. “Everett has not been the easiest of husbands. If your concern is for her safety, do not fear. Count Mendez would never seek to destroy a rival’s family.”

  She stared down at her hands, her clean fingernails. For the first time in years, she didn’t have grease stains swirled across her skin accompanied by little burns or scratches from the engine room. A life on the throne meant being a slave to the people and not to the gears and springs she loved so much. But being on the throne also meant she could protect people. Like Zak and his family.

  How much did she want to be an airship captain? Was it worth the innocent lives?

  Could she let down Zander, knowing he’d died believing she’d make the right choice?

  Could she give up Zak, knowing that if she were to go, if she were to be persuaded to become the Queen of Doldra, she would have to marry a royal from another kingdom? Any chance at her own happiness would be lost forever.

  Black spots danced on the surface of the table and Jade sucked in a breath, flooding her body with the oxygen she’d been depriving it.

  “Can you act as a proxy ruler, if you have Violet and Jade’s permission, then?” Zak asked.

  “Yes,” Samuel looked to Zebediah, then to Zak and Jade. “I will take care of the Monomi, and the innocent lives that have been upturned by Bentley’s reign here. I will not allow any more atrocities to happen. You have my word.”

  Jade stared at the table, her emotions whirling about in her heart. Her gut pulled at her, imploring her to agree, to do whatever was necessary to defend, to guard her friends here in Doldra. Her heart tugged her toward the sky, begging for freedom, to run away and never look back. She closed her eyes, and the image of Zander’s casket flashed in her mind.

  “I’ll do it.” She opened her eyes and looked at Samuel, ignoring Zak’s sudden shift in his chair. “You take care of my people here. I need to settle these matters in Aerugo, and I need to find my uncle.” She swallowed hard. “I won’t be responsible for any more lives lost.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jade

  “I have to do it. I have to go.” Jade paced the spacious receiving room that was attached to the bedroom she shared with Krista.

  Krista sat on an open window sill, arms crossed over her leather bodice as she watched Jade. “I’ll—”

  Jade swallowed hard, forcing the words out. “I’ll go with Weston. Meet with Queen Violet. Work all this out, somehow, and persuade Everett to let Andre go.”

  Krista shook her head hard enough that her braids whipped against her face. “No.”

  “No?” Jade stopped beside one of the three couches in the room and braced her hands on the back of it. “Krista, I have to!”

  “No.” Krista pushed against the window sill and tried to stalk forward. Her skirt bunched between her legs, and she grumbled a curse while resituating the fabric. She looked up as she yanked the amber hemline. “You can’t go with him. He tried to take you. He whipped Zak.” Krista moved closer, her eyes burning with concern and anger. “Just because he has some sob story doesn’t mean he’s telling you the truth, and even if he is telling the truth about that much, doesn’t mean he’s telling the truth about everything else!”

  “But I do know that he’s telling at least some sort of truth about my uncle,” Jade countered. Her voice trembled with frustration. “His story matches up to Ben’s. And I need to do whatever I can to help Andre. I need to protect him.” A tear slid down her cheek and she scrubbed at it. “I can’t leave him to rot in some prison, and I need to protect the Monomi. What’s left of them.”

  Krista flopped on the couch adjacent to Jade and kicked her feet over the edge, laying her head back on the cushions so she could stare at the ceiling. “Yes, he told you the truth about Andre. And I agree we need to save him somehow. But I don’t think Weston is the way to go about that.”

&nb
sp; “Then what should I do?” Jade threw her hands in the air, resisting the urge to shriek and tear her hair out. “I need to be recognized as queen if I’m going to protect the Monomi. At least for this moment, I can go and pretend I’m actually considering it. Then I’ll give it all over to Violet as soon as she’s ready. I’m not going to actually be queen.”

  Krista squeezed her eyes shut with a groan. “Don’t let them guilt you into it.”

  Jade looked away, Zak’s words from the night of their board game echoing in her mind,

  “If you become our queen, you need to be strong. Unmovable against Everett. Even if he threatens me, my family, my clan. We Monomi made our choice, fully knowing the risk of retaliation. Don’t bear a burden that isn’t yours.” She swallowed hard. They’d had no way of knowing just what kind of shehalla they’d be thrown into after that. “No one has said anything to me directly yet.”

  Krista rolled herself off the couch, the voluminous skirt she’d been forced to wear while staying in the palace crumpling around her, tripping her up again. “Stupid, ridiculous, poor excuse for a piece of clothing,” she griped. She stalked to the nearby table piled with tools and prototypes of the prosthetic leg they’d been working on for Briar. She swiped a wrench and perched on the edge of the furniture, tightening a bolt on their most recent version of a knee. “I just don’t know how we can help Andre, even if we do go out to Aerugo.” Krista raised an eyebrow at Jade. “Jail break?”

  Jade snorted. “I doubt that would help in the long term.”

  Krista tapped the wrench against her forehead. “I don’t know. But Weston isn’t the answer. He can’t be the answer.”

  Jade had nothing to say. She’d gone around in circles, thinking everything through as much as she could, and there was no easy answer. Everything required either her lack of involvement and more deaths and misery, or her risking her sanity, and maybe even life, by going with Weston to Aerugo. And she hadn’t even mentioned it to Zak yet. She wasn’t sure what his reaction would be, and she feared asking him. His silence at the end of the meeting with Advisor Samuel worried her. Would he support her? He said he wouldn’t leave her—but the situation was spiraling rapidly out of any semblance of what they could’ve expected.